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  1.把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如:Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab.

  Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)

  Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语)


  1) Weak: The team members are good players.

  Revision: The team members play well.

  2) Weak: One worker’s plan is the elimination of tardiness.

  Revision: One worker’s plan eliminates tardiness.


  例如:1) Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.

  Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.

  2) Weak: Here are the books you ordered.

  Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.


  例如:1. Poor: My supervisor went past my desk.

  Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.

  2. Poor: She is a careful shopper.

  Better: She compares prices and quality.


  例如:1. Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.

  Better: Charity has supported the organization.

  2. Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.

  Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.



  例如:1. Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.

  Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.

  2. Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.

  Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.

  3. Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.

  Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.

  4. Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.

  Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.


  例如:1. Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.

  Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.

  2. Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.

  Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.


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